Rebel Against Your Own Intuition

Cover of "You've Got Mail"

Cover of Youve Got Mail

Self-Care Tip #87 – Be a rebel towards your own intuition.

My husband was telling me about how consumers are demanding a more human approach to industry.

In the 1990’s the film written and directed by Nora EphronYou’ve Got Mail, showed us how the small personal touch was muscled out of business by the book-superstore.  Today, my husband told me that the inverse is happening now because technology allows it to.  Counterintuitive to thinking, the very thing that took out the mom-and-pop store is the very thing that is bringing it back.

Author of the blog CreatingBrains, Joana Johnson, wrote a post, “Is Barnes & Noble Changing for the Worse?”  She describes their palliative efforts to feel their way through the current changes in the book sale market.  Clearly, buyers and readers are wanting something different from the superstore ambiance again.

Readers have written in to me about their demands for a more human approach to their own selves.  Here are 2 recent examples.

My mother always said that it was selfish to attend to your own needs when you were a wife and mother.  I’m happy to see a Christian woman refute that so eloquently.

I have been recovering from a complete emotional breakdown for 16 years and… the hardest thing I have had to convince myself to do for nearly 70 years now is learn to be a friend to myself.

These women are rebels in their own way and time.  I’m not a sociologist but I see these changes influenced also by technology and information.  It’s not so easy to stay barefoot and pregnant these days even if you wanted to.  “All things bright and beautiful” beckon to us.  Nor is it quite as easy to fool ourselves into believing that we’ll be able to take care of anyone – children, work, rescue dogs – if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first.  And although we still try to all the time, we just can’t believe any more that we can give what we don’t have.  Our current upside down economy is also testimony to that.

I wrote a blog post some time ago titled “A Woman’s Work,” that largely speaks to this as well.  Because of many contributors, including temperament and conditioning, in many of us self-care is not intuitive.  It is disruptive.  Taking care of ourselves is even a bit scandalous …but it is more humane and it is possible.

Self-Care Tip #87 – Be a rebel towards your own intuition.  Be a friend to yourself.

Question:  What barriers are you passing to care for yourself?  What is making it possible?  Please tell me your story.

Use your intuition. Love.

Taking care of yourself is more than a list of to-do’s. It’s more than getting good sleep. It’s more than eating well, and exercising and not judging yourself. Taking care of yourself is more than growing in knowledge or producing. Sometimes doing all these things we can still feel very uncared for.

When we reduce and tease apart the workings of our minds, when we hold the threads of what we thought made us up, we realize that our essence is not in hand. That essence being love. To love yourself comes when you know you were loved 1st by someone else. Everyone has been. Even the most unfortunate. Not everyone knows that but that doesn’t make it disappear.

Work simultaneously with that love, and these other efforts of roadblocks, biological and behavioral therapies – the character threads that we isolate and nurture then will weave together into someone friendly.

I feel comfortable saying that that someone who loved me and you 1st is God, but that can be confusing to people. I don’t think of world religions when I think of God. I think of all that I see that is good, like stars who’s light reaches me from thousands of years away, or my son’s smile right beside me. I think of the witness-mother of her murdered daughter who found forgiveness.

When I think of love, I think about a wanting in me. Someone asked me, “Why believe in God?” My answer is my own as is yours. I believe in God not because of what He will do for me but because I want to share every bit of life with love. I’m comfortable believing that is who God is. But don’t be afraid of being confused.

Madeleine L’Engle wrote in a Wrinkle In Time:

“Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.”

Intuition if nothing else tells us that there is love. It’s like the melody in music, love. Without it, we are nothing but clanging sounds.

Self Care Tip #8 – Love. Be a friend to yourself.