Self-Care Woven and Unravelled Simultaneously for Best Results

Change is good--Kente Cloth Loom

Self-Care Tip #222 – See the different parts of your self-care as independent yet dependent on each other.

One of my truest pleasures would be to teach well.  My temperament is, per Myers-Briggs, designed to be a teacher and I agree that I feel inner congruence when I’m doing just that.

…If you’re feeling your hands closing into a bracing grip, it is probably because you, like many, really don’t want to be schooled – which has happened in my less refined moments, so caution is understood.  This is not what I hope to do here.

After yesterday’s blog-post and comments received, it shows that I have not taught as well as I implied to myself.  Implied intimacy is a danger of any familiar relationship, including with ourselves.  The beauty of you guys, is you help me say things “out loud” decreasing misunderstandings.  You guys are teaching me and I thank you.  So whatever this is we are doing, learning, schooling, teaching or whatever it is that Mr. Rick C. does – what we are doing here together is mucho-much fun.

As we unravel the rug together, we see these threads,

  • emotions and behaviors appropriate to context – yesterday we spoke about guilt
  • emotions and behaviors inappropriate to context – yesterday we spoke about guilt as a symptom of medical illness
  • the magical miraculous beyond our current understanding – before we “see face-to-face– yesterday Carol Ann mentioned the changing power of God
  • freedom to do self-care and related choices
  • what choice yet remains when other choices are lost either by action or disease
  • (this last one I’m just putting in here to finish the pretty rainbow) – helps me get in the barn where I’m comfortable

The reason I think it’s important to see these together yet apart, as well as we can (through a glass dimly), is that too much of one or another of these, diminishes the results of our self-care intentions.  Don’t mistake this for preaching that one can get too much of God in their lives.  It just isn’t true and not in our best interest to get waylaid.

Questions:  How do you see yourself more effective in your self-care efforts and what has influenced those improvements?  In what way have certain bits of your self-care gotten “too much” attention?  Please tell me your story.

Use your intuition. Love.

Taking care of yourself is more than a list of to-do’s. It’s more than getting good sleep. It’s more than eating well, and exercising and not judging yourself. Taking care of yourself is more than growing in knowledge or producing. Sometimes doing all these things we can still feel very uncared for.

When we reduce and tease apart the workings of our minds, when we hold the threads of what we thought made us up, we realize that our essence is not in hand. That essence being love. To love yourself comes when you know you were loved 1st by someone else. Everyone has been. Even the most unfortunate. Not everyone knows that but that doesn’t make it disappear.

Work simultaneously with that love, and these other efforts of roadblocks, biological and behavioral therapies – the character threads that we isolate and nurture then will weave together into someone friendly.

I feel comfortable saying that that someone who loved me and you 1st is God, but that can be confusing to people. I don’t think of world religions when I think of God. I think of all that I see that is good, like stars who’s light reaches me from thousands of years away, or my son’s smile right beside me. I think of the witness-mother of her murdered daughter who found forgiveness.

When I think of love, I think about a wanting in me. Someone asked me, “Why believe in God?” My answer is my own as is yours. I believe in God not because of what He will do for me but because I want to share every bit of life with love. I’m comfortable believing that is who God is. But don’t be afraid of being confused.

Madeleine L’Engle wrote in a Wrinkle In Time:

“Don’t try to comprehend with your mind. Your minds are very limited. Use your intuition.”

Intuition if nothing else tells us that there is love. It’s like the melody in music, love. Without it, we are nothing but clanging sounds.

Self Care Tip #8 – Love. Be a friend to yourself.