Swimsuit

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Escape and Find Treasure

Rounded glass on beach.

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Self-Care Tip #258 – Let yourself escape.

On the beach this evening, waiting for sunset, our dogs were leashed around a pole whining to be free.

There is something about the beach that enchants us.  Broken glass, becomes “sea glass.”  Dirty feet seem appropriate and wanted.  We don’t remember the edge that we teetered on for hours earlier that day.  We remember our own turn and there are fantasies that come in closer.

My children were like puppies let loose.  

This place where three worlds meet; land, sea and sky, the beauty is so great that somehow forgiveness comes as if it can’t stay away.  Forgiveness comes when we don’t even know we are holding a grudge.  I guess there is just no space for that stink at the beach with our lovely dirty feet and our dreams about to come true.

My son found a feather trapped in a heap of slimy seaweed and flies and he grabbed it quickly, thinking his sister would try to get to it first.  

Look!  A treasure!  This feather!  It is a treasure!  

Sister said something inarticulate and was off toward the water’s edge.  Son turns to me and says,

A feather of chicken taken from photograph stu...

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A treasure Mommy!  This is your treasure Mommy.  I found it.  It’s yours now from me.  A treasure!

I saw the flies and remembered the bird who pooped without sphincter control that the feather had belonged to, and I took that enchanted nappy feather with my fingers.

You keep it now Mommy.  Don’t lose it.  Kay?

I even said thank-you.

Question:  Where do you feel enchanted?  What takes you away and what does it do for you to be able to escape?  Please tell me your story.

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Living Where We Feel Safe is Part of Self-Care

Self-Care Tip #213 – Live in safety.  Be a friend to yourself.

In My Fridge

Image by Nikita Kashner via Flickr

I love psychiatry because for me it is a safe place.  A place where I am comfortable pushing aside distractions.  The blinking lights disappear and I don’t have to waste myself on B.S.  Some time ago, I told you about how Mom has been when Dad’s been hospitalized in the past.  When she pushed his tubing aside and just got in bed with him to hold him.  All that mattered then was Love.  They didn’t see the clutter any more.  That’s what psychiatry offers.  If we want, we  can come together and be real.  In twenty to forty minutes, we can hune and warp time and find a gravity where we breathe differently.

Chewbacca

Image by Andres Rueda via Flickr

Unfortunately, I have found that the longer I do this psychiatry thing, the worse I am with life otherwise.  Whether I’m with the grocer, dog-trainer, my child’s teacher or person in front of me in the coffee-line – I just don’t graze well.  (See blog-post, “Do You Feel Pleasure.”)  I’m always yelling, “Hit it Chewbacca!” and we’re off at warp speed into asteroids of personal information; perhaps inappropriate to the setting.  (See blog-post, “Using The Force.”)  I hate to think what I’ll become when I’m more thoroughly demented and disinhibited.  These things just get more pronounced with age and soon I’ll just be that crazy Auntie with her bra snapped on top of her bathing-suit in winter yelling at the young kids to turn the music down so we can talk.

The truth is, I’ve never been so wonderful in tinsel-town.  I found home and found that home needs to be a place where we are safe.  In fact, this is true materially in the home we live in.  It starts there and diffuses out.  If at home we are able to speak uncensored knowing we respect others and are respected because we are human, not because we have to earn it, if we can enter our kitchen and not fear temptation from chocolate chip cookies, open the fridge and know as an alcoholic the wife or husband didn’t buy beer, argue and trust that we are loved enough to be a priority, we know the issue won’t be lazily passed up, we know we are safe – then there is a ripple and a ring of safety and another ripple and another ring of safety and soon safety follows us because we just aren’t interested in anything else.  (That was a super-sentence.)  We have found home.

Questions:  How do you define safety?  What feels safe for you?  How do you grow your circle of safety?  Please tell me your story.

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