Like gripping a blade the reflex may be to grip harder. When to let things go when it feels like we can’t… How do we, if it is still active in our lives?. Something negative but still going on with no end in sight?
A woman comes to me anxious and depressed. She looks older than her age. She cries a lot talking about what she is ashamed of. Staying with her emotionally abusive husband. Probably having sex with him though she didn’t want it. Unable to leave because she didn’t have money, job, or family support.
This woman I mentioned, she is courageous. She has tried for years to find herself again and still tries again and tries another time, times times. She talks to her kids about it and they say she should never have married him. She talks to her friends and they sigh and heap insults against him. She talks to God.
She comes to me. Why she comes when she does? She found the courage to ask for help one more time, times times. She takes medications. We spend 6 months together before she starts responding to the combination therapy and each day she had the courage to wait another day times another. Her face looks younger, slowly, like looking through an album backwards over the next weeks. She starts talking about doing more than making it through the day. More fits into her hopes than survival. Like Mary Poppins‘ travel bag, she keeps pulling more out of her life than she ever thought it had space to hold.
One day about 1 1/2 years later, she came to me with a secret smile, holding her purse like a stolen cupcake. The door closed to our room and she pulled out her dog. She said, “I’d like you to meet my best friend in the whole world. I just love him so much!” She is a woman who found courage to love and be loved.
I am in awe and humbly wonder after her.
Remember again the addict who so often leads us in this example.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
We surrender when we can, when we think of it, when awareness dawns, the things we cannot control. It might take a higher thought to “let go” of what we cannot control. When we are able to do this, we are larger in a sense than the moment. The recurring yucky events are seen more objectively and less personally. We are more knowing.
It takes us back around to how we define ourself. Our spirit. Our essence. This woman, she found it. She found she was more than her circumstance.
“How do we surrender what we cannot control?” you ask. Ask yourself. I have my answer. I hold my answer in my mind’s eye, like a Swiss bank account. My most precious treasure in the care of The One,
…where neither moth nor rust does corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
This woman, she is courageous. She journeys without being defined by the events.
Self Care Tip #36 – If you can’t control it, let it go and keep going. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: What do you think? Please tell me your story.
Great follow up yesterday. Babysteps right, while I may still feel the sting personal assault, I can see it for what it is (or isn’t!) and let it go.
Now, next let’s address my middle child syndrome… oh, sorry, what’s that, it’s NOT all about me! 😉
Ouch is right! It hurts and hurts. holding what we cannot control though is no good for us in any way. hugs dear jaime! you amaze me. i can’t wait to see what you will do or say next! keep on!
The serenity prayer has always been my favorite… Needless to say, this one touched me.