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Self-Care Tip #165 – Be humble. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: What has helped you connect more since you’ve been more friendly with yourself? Please tell me your story.
We all crave connection, no matter what temperament. Some are more vocal about wanting connection, more active in pursuing it, more talented at acquiring it, more connected and some are less. But any way we are turned, we want to connect. To resonate. To know and be known.
I was talking with Joana Johnson, author of blog-site Creating Minds, about what has changed in our lives since we started blogging. Aside from having a lot less free time, we both agreed that we were more connected because of it. Connected to you, readers and commenters.
But what was missing before the blog? Before internet? Before hours of effort to fasten super long, super thin feelers out over the hill and through the glade to all of you? Maybe these things:
- Time.
- Our Essence.
- Hearing the intention in what people say.
- Demanding with your life to be known.
- Not personalizing things that aren’t about “Me.”
- Accepting the gift of connection when it is offered.
- Liking myself.
- Trust the eternal truth that connection is more than our perceptions.
- Being healthy.
And the big #10 that Joana and I marveled over…
It’s not easy to connect when we think we are better than others. Feeling superior is a big burden. We don’t take what people say seriously. It’s hard to get to close to someone when your feathers are all spread out, peacock style.
You readers and commenters have done all of these things for me, (and probably for each other.) You have given me your time and your essence. You have heard my intentions when I didn’t say things so well. You have shown me how to live courageously and demand to know and be known. You have turned my focus away from Me, and gave me the mysterious capacity to receive these gifts from you. I like myself better and I trust more. I’ve worked hard over the last six months of blogging to be as healthy as I can be and I am interested, motivated, and hopeful to continue to do that – in part, because I see you doing it too. And you have shown me through your humility that you will have me, and I will have you.
What was missing from having a sense of this degree of connection in my life before blogging? Simply put, you.
Your Own,
Sana Johnson-Quijada MD
P.S. Enjoy Mac Davis – Oh Lord It’s Hard to Be Humble
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
when you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
‘cos I get better looking each day
to know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
O Lord it’s hard to be humble
but I’m doing the best that I can.
I used to have a girlfriend
but I guess she just could’n’t complete
with all of these lovestarved women
who keep clamouring at my feet.
Well I probably find me another
but I guess they’re all in awe of me
who cares I never get lonesome
cause I treasure my own company.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
when you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
‘cos I get better looking each day
to know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
O Lord it’s hard to be humble
but I’m doing the best that I can.
I guess you can say I’m a loner
a cowboy outlaw tough and proud
Well
I could have lots of friends if I wanted
but then I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd
some folks say that I’m “egotistical
well I don’t even know what that means
I guess it has something to do with the
way that I fill out my skintight blue jeans.
Oh Lord it’s hard to be humble
when you’re perfect in every way.
I can’t wait to look in the mirror
‘cos I get better looking each day
to know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
O Lord it’s hard to be humble
we are doing the best that we can.
Related Articles
- Connecting to Others is a Condition of Freedom Rather Than Loss of It. (friendtoyourself.com)
Friend to Yourself 
What was missing before I started to be a friend to myself? This blog is what was missing. Sana was what was missing….and Sarah and Carl and Kevin and Rick and so many others. And trust was missing…trust in others but mostly trust in myself. The freedom (I guess that was missing, too, now that I write it) to express my thoughts and know that others understand and don’t judge me has caused me to feel a peace about where I am on my journey to mental health that I’ve been searching for for years. This answer may sound…what? I don’t know. I just know that I’ve never been more sincere…and I don’t remember when I’ve felt more self-confident. Now, if I met some of you in person, I might back into my shell, but I’d like to believe I’m chipping away at that shell until it, too, will be missing!! I hope others feel the same.
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thank u nancy. lovely comment. lovely u.
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Again, I relate to you Nancy… “I might go back into my shell” too… I feel most sincere when I am writing and when I am reading the writing of others, like a different deeper part of me is able to communicate…a part that is often afraid to surface in the “real” world. I try to bring her up to the surface more and more everyday… Sana has given us a forum to be ourselves and not be judged. What a gift!
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I just found your blog today and I adore it. I’m subscribing! 🙂
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Yay! wonderful to have you jaclyn. u r so kind. thank u for reading and commenting. we look forward to hearing from you. keep on!
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i have belive it or not been able to help other people with the same thing as me now if we went back six mounth befire anyone here new me we would be talking an alltogether diffrent senario i have really helped someone tonight by just being there for them telling them truths about bpd sonce there are a lot of miths about it and the most amzing thing i probably saved a life just for the time being so enuff of the story commenting and just reading other peoples comments on this site and others helps to with this site i connected to it and when people are stuck i send them here becuase this has became part of my world its small i know but part of my world in me been able to connect with this site it makes me able to cinnect to the world a little bit better if that makes sense i allways get the feeling on this site its weird but everything is good and you can actualy helpyourself with a little bit of a nudge and i know tonight for example i would not of been able to do that say six mounth ago it makes me feel good inside to
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wow kevin. all i can say is wow. …thank u for telling us about your own service to others through self-care. keep on.
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Oh Doc, I can’t begin to explain what was missing before I found your blog. All I can say is a big THANKS.
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knowing u better now over time and your own excellent blog which includes much self-disclosure – i marval at what u said in your comment but am really grateful and happy about it too. keep on dear cin
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I think I am learning to better connect with by self by becoming more atuned to others. By being a bit more indulgent on a healthy level and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. By taking time to be a little more engaging instead of withdrawn. My 87 year old parents live with me and there is healthy space but I isolate somewhat not to listen to dad’s yaking and rambling about some dumb stuff from the radio. I now try to take a moment to listen and comment. It gives him a sense of worth and presence. So connecting with others produces the by-product of connecting with self.
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this was a gorgeous concept, if a concept can own that word.
“connecting with others produces the by-product of connecting with self.”
thank u so much carl for commenting w your usual thoughtfulness and insight. keep on.
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