Alcoholism

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Blog-Jacking – by Rick C.

Hi Everyone… I thought I would kind of write a guest blog today (call it blog-jacking even) DQ did not specifically asked me to do this, however, I do not have any clear recollection of her specifically asking me not to do this either. With this in mind, I would like to let you know about my unique relationship with DQ (I am just going to write DQ because I have a very limited attention span and am likely to have two or three great ideas flow through my brain by the time I type Dr. Sana Johnson-Quijada and then I also start wondering if she has a middle name too and how she fits all those letters into those forms that have the little boxes on them). Anyway… I communicate with DQ on a regular basis and get interesting insight on a variety of topics. This makes me feel unique and special until I realize that most of the people reading this have the same opportunity. Then I kind of ask myself… “What kind of group have I joined?”

To begin, I would like to talk a bit about my psychiatric qualifications. I spent six years attending college. Technically, these were at a community college, but I did take at least one psych course while I was there. In addition, I am an alcoholic and drug addict in recovery who has previously attempted suicide. I take medications for both depression and ADHD. I had to go through a variety of medication to find the right combination because almost every medication I tried made me sweat profusely and/or break out in a rash. As part of my ongoing training, I am going through a nasty divorce which has caused me to be temporarily unable to see my son or live the life that I have become accustomed to. In addition, I have just lost my job of fifteen years due to cutbacks. All of this in the same month that I turned forty and should be free to seek out a quality midlife crisis.

The fact that I am laying in bed with my shoelaces in my possession in a nice room that I am free to come and go from as I please over two weeks after the divorce/job loss week most likely indicates that I am totally delusional and only think that I am happy or that I actually am. Either way, I am content in the place that I am at. This, to me, is pretty amazing.

I am grateful for that I have been through all the things that I have been through in my life because they have given me the strength and experience to go through what I am going through. Even though I did not do real well in school, I somehow did well enough with a big corporation that they are willing to give me a severance package that will basically pay me for the next four months as long as I do not get a job or accept one of the positions they have offered me. Basically, a bunch of paperwork and legal terms that say to me “Paid, vacation!”

Being an alcoholic and a drug addict have led me to become involved in a program that connects me with others who have previously tried to use alcohol and drugs as a solution for coping with life. These people are a great source of support and experience. As for the prescribed drugs, I am not even really sure that I need them all the time; however, I sure as heck am glad that I was on them when my “Perfect Storm” kicked off. Oh yeah, as part of my challenging week, I found myself with no place to live and immediate access to very little money. A little rational thought and I realized that I have an amazing amount of airline miles from years of travel. In fact, more than enough to take up residence in a nice beach front condo for the next month.

Why am I sharing all of this? For several reasons — First and foremost, I am newly almost single and think that this is a great way to meet ladies without having to ever think about the awkward point in a relationship where I will have to explain my past. In addition, the fact that everyone here is reading this most likely means that you have experience with challenges like mine and I can always use others that I can relate to. Lastly, I have found out that when I have felt that I have a very unique situation, I am usually wrong and that I am actually just not in a group of people who feel comfortable sharing their experiences. It would be kind of cool if everyone just wore a signs with their three biggest “issues” on them. I have a feeling that if everyone formed a group with only the people who had at least one issue in common with them… we’d all be in the same great big group called life.

Thanks for reading to this point. What do you think about this? Are you female and single or considering becoming that way? Could this really be a worse idea than matchharmoneyfinder.com or whatever it is called? Keep on and be a friend to yourself and stuff.

Oh yeah….DQ, please get better soon because this blogging stuff is cutting into my busy schedule!

 

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Recipe for Treating Panic Disorder, According to Me

 

shoponline2011.com

 

Recipe for Treating Panic Disorder, According to Me:

1.  If it’s taking you to the emergency room feeling like you’re going to die, or your spouse can’t peel you off with your phone calls and new needs – you have a medical illness.  Get medication.

2.  If you are afraid of being humiliated by an episode so much that you avoid public places, or if you are more fearful than not – you have a medical illness.  Get medical treatment.

3.  If you are panicking out of the blue, without something setting you off/triggers like finding your husband in bed with your dentist – this is biological.  Get a medical physician’s opinion.

4.  If you are awakening from sleep in a panic attack, when you feel like you have to get out of bed and escape and the episode lasts for about 10+ minutes before you recover yourself – this is not because you’re not trying hard enough.  Get on a serotonerigic therapy and a sleep aid(s).

5.  If you are drinking more alcohol to relax and out of fear of going to bed – get suspicious and get smart.  Medication therapy or alcohol?  It stumps me when someone says they don’t feel comfortable with taking medication that has beed studied in double-blind studies on thousands of people and reviewed and analyzed and more… but they do feel comfortable with alcohol.  That’s not friendly with yourself.

6.  If you think you are going crazy and realize your fears and suspicions don’t make sense; if you think you are possibly going psychotic over and over – you’re having a medical illness of the brain and body called panic disorder.  Get to your nearest treating physician and trust them.

 

juno.cumc.columbia.edu

 

7.  If this is you, don’t go get insight or supportive psychotherapy at least until you have been on medication therapy for 6-8 weeks.  What you are going through is not because your mom yells at you too much.  It doesn’t have to have a reason.  It is medical.  Treat it medically.  If you go to therapy too soon, you will see that you can’t give what you don’t have.  (I may have offended some people saying this.  Sorry.)

8.  If you don’t get treatment, expect that depression may likely follow soon.  Anxiety and depression are bedfellows and can’t be apart for long.

    Self-Care Tip #92 – View Panic as a medical illness.  It is.  Be a friend to yourself.

    Question:  Have you or someone you known used a similar recipe or a different one?  Please tell me your story.

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    Get Treatment to Move On – Addictions

    Molested by his cousin, neglected by his parents, he watched his intoxicated father beat his mother.  Thinking she would die too many times, he ran away, returned in a police car over and over again, as if wanting to get away was a crime.  He came back and raped his neighbor, more than once.  He spent a lot of time trying to get sex even though he knew it was ruining him and others.  He lost interest in almost everything else.  He suffered uncontrollable impulses.

    He was 18 years old when he left it all for the safety of prison.  During the next fifteen-some years he was diagnosed, treated, and kept.  But kept for what?  For eating.  He gained weight, until he needed 2 seats to sit in.  Eating became his preoccupation.  He didn’t have sex.  He had food.

    He was released to a home for sexual offenders, put on a diet and lost weight.  He lost it big and fast and felt in control.  He started purging and not finishing his meals.  He thought about purging all the time.  He knew he shouldn’t do it.  His voice was changing, raspy and his throat hurt but he still purged.  He wasn’t having sex.  He wasn’t over-eating.  He was purging.

    For whatever reason, no one had yet seen the pattern.  Mostly everyone saw sex offender.  Me included.  I was trying.  I was trying to treat him with empathy, trying to get past the bile that comes when I think of rape, trying to consider the courageous things this man was doing now in life.

    In one of my favorite scenes from the film, Rachel Getting Married, Kim played by Anne Hathaway argues with her sister about her own chances to have a future:

    Rachel: Kym, you took Ethan for granted. Okay? You were high for his life. You were not present. Okay? You were high.
    Kym: [Whispering] Yes.
    Rachel: And you drove him off a bridge… and now he’s dead….
    Kym: Yes, I was. Yes, I was stoned out of my mind. Who do I have to be now? I mean, I could be Mother Teresa and it wouldn’t make a difference, what I did. Did I sacrifice every bit of… love I’m allowed for this life because I killed our little brother?

    I thought of this and somehow through all that trying, I did. And because I could empathize, a space opened up for me to be more objective.  That’s when I saw it.  I saw the pattern.

    Addictions migrate.  Someone who may have started out as a food addict, might turn to gambling, and then later to alcohol.  Someone with sex addiction, might turn to food and then later to purging.

    It can be like that game I used to play at Chucky Cheese, trying to hammer down the little animals that pop out of holes.  We need to treat the disease of Addiction regardless of how it’s dressed, or else it will keep popping up.  And like Kym, if we do, although perhaps terribly wrong in some unchangeable ways, we will still have a future.  If you’d like to read more about this “kainos” (Greek word for the opportunity to be made new,) read the post New versus New.

    Self Care Tip #62 – Get treatment to move on.  Be a friend to yourself.

    Question:  What do you think?  Please tell me your story.

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    Yell and Someone Will Hear

    Today a reader responded to the blog posted on August 30, 2010, “Own It.  Our Life’s Work.”

    Al-Anon, a great program. I really feel blessed to have found a 12 step program that is so gentle yet so encouraging with wonderful results for me personally.  It has taught me how to quiet my mind, live in the moment, live and let live, and let go and let God.  All principles I apply daily and the pleasure I get from living this way has enhanced all aspects of my life.  This program is not only for the loved ones of alcoholics but for anyone who has a family member suffering from addiction or if you were raised in a home with perfectionistic standards.  These standards stunt emotional growth and the results emotionally are no different than growing up in a home with addiction.  From the outside the perfectionistic home may look functional whereas the alcoholics home looks chaotic, but the emotional impact is the same.  Growing up this way may result in other acceptable addictions like workaholic, churchaholic, perfectionism, eating disorders etc… …It got me thinking about how thankful I am for Al-Anon.

    She said it well.  First hand this woman of courage tells us bits of her story.  She demystified some of the suspicions about a group like Al-Anon.  She invites all of us, by her testimony, to also have courage.  To also share.  To also work on our own battered selves.  She unclosets getting treatment.  She tells us we need each other.  Al-Anon is a group meeting.  There is healing.  Healing is not a condition of stalemate.  She tells us about healing and progress.  We can choose.

    In the Wizard of Oz

    Tin Woodsman: Help! Help!
    Scarecrow: It’s no use screaming at a time like this. Nobody will hear you. Help! Help!

    Self Care Tip #37 – Yell and someone will hear you!  Be a friend to yourself.

    Question: What do you think?  Please tell me your story.