Waiting For Self-Care to Start

Self-Care Tip #176 – Don’t wait to start caring for your self.  

I’ll get to it when things slow down for me.

I can’t handle one more stress on top of the kids and all the people who take, take, take.

Don’t take this away!  It’s my only vice!

I don’t have time because I’m working so much.

There are so many good reasons to wait for self-care.  I don’t belittle them.  I do them too.  There’s a reason we here at FriendtoYourself.com call self-care the hardest work.  It is not for anyone who isn’t willing to go through the fire of putting themselves first.

“The fire,” you say?  Yes.  Fred taught me that.  He was down twenty pounds, working out almost every day with aerobic and anaerobic exercises, putting his ear-plugs in when sounds escalated his nerves, more motivated, interested and active.  Fred was growing again.  He said that it had been years since he’d done any of these things for himself and couldn’t believe what the world looked like when he felt so good.

Fred was sad though.  Not depressed.  No, he hadn’t been depressed for at least a year on his medication and even less so since he was taking care of himself physically.  But sad.  His wife wasn’t interested in his changes, she was disconnected emotionally, and more so every day it seemed to him as he began to change physically, emotionally and behaviorally.  His friends were growing distant.  He wasn’t interested in office politics either.  It was a simultaneous coming together of life in himself and a falling away of the life connection in his “previous life,” as he called it.  Surprisingly, the people he loved the most weren’t so happy for him.  Weren’t supportive of him.  He was sad for that.  There are never gains without losses.

This is not to forget the new relationships he was growing.  There was new life all around him and he still maintained hope for the connections he had before.  But those people who he had called his own for years were the ones who gave him all the reasons to wait for self-care.  He was way past waiting.  He was already on the other side enjoying the sun.

Question:  What have you overcome to get at your own self-care?  Is there anything your are still waiting to do?  Please tell me your story.

*Art work (assumed) courtesy of carldagostino.wordpress.com.

19 thoughts on “Waiting For Self-Care to Start

  1. Great. You may copy anything anytime. Delighted to be associated in some small way with your blog. FDR, Erato, and Forced Retirement are my favorite posts. Regret too few people have checked them out. Self care? “Keep your sails unfurled, the wind at your back and find, as did Columbus, a New World for yourself !”

  2. I have just discovered your blog. I have decided to worship at your altar.

    I would like to start my journey in your church, with Confession.

    I am one of the fallen of your flock. I have used the international sign of gagging myself when mom’s I know used the words “Me Time.” I don’t know what to do for penance. Perhaps just eat a cookie and reflect? 😉

    Thanks for the inspiring blog!!!

  3. Self care? Could I have another couple of hours in the day please?
    I suppose my blog here and at Letterdash is my ‘me time’ preserving my sanity (although that’s debatable sometimes *grin*) amidst the chaos of having a hubby who is virtually permanently away from home, working, caring for my mom who has a heart condition and is going blind, and doing the normal housework and garden chores.
    What I’d really like is a week off from all responsibilities and escape to a cabin in a forest somewhere to do nothing more strenuous than read a book or three 😉

    • wow halfpint. that is a lot. i feel myself yearning for that weak off just listening to all you’re doing. i could see u in a comfy chair w 7 books, 3 of them already started and you just can’t wait to get to the next one so they rotate like a ferris wheel. your husband is back and you’re together for the week. just long enough to make routine feel like a choice. keep going. hugs.

  4. I DO have a sense of humor, and I absolutely love the “CarlArt”!!!, but, after all of the responses today and the stylish comments from yesterday, I feel a little silly being serious. However, for what it’s worth, I have overcome a whole lot of fibromyagia problems as I have attempted to get weight off and exercise going in my self-care, but what I’m waiting to do is overcome more and be more successful. It doesn’t help that my family, friends and even my doctor keep reminding me that “with all the meds you took and the fact that the fibromyalgia is so painful” I’m doing as much as I can do. It’s a “rock and a hard place” thing to them. To me, is just a major frustration but at least it’s not as much of a depression thing as is used to be. No joke, though. Sorry.

  5. a more solid way of dealing with feelings that are very strong witch im working on more hours in the day sometimes and less hours in the day would probably do quite nicely there is one thing that i am waiting to do but im not quite ready for it and anybody will know if you dont feel ready your not ive overcome quite a few things using self care including getting more help for myslef and starting to belive that with BPD i can cope and i will recover fully

  6. Well for me, I had to let go of drinking and it’s taken me years to do so completely. I think it’s always something I will want to resort too. I guess to be good to myself, I’ve had to be hard on myself. Not always opting for the easier selection!

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