Self-Care Tip #107 – Listen to the intention in what other people say. Be a friend to yourself.
Knowing when to stand up. To speak out. There’s so much said about letting things go that when we don’t, we can feel, if not see, the people pinching up inside. “Uck!” But that can’t always be good, keeping quiet.
Trying to connect is hard to do in silence. It’s hard to do in sound too, if it doesn’t penetrate. Connections are penetrating experiences. They get inside and hook us. They touch our simple selves and although foreign, don’t corrupt us. That is the Love’s job – the cleanness of it. We are touched but still clean because of Love. Without it, getting touched can feel contaminating, dirty.
In an earlier blog post, “Criticize if You Love Me,” I spoke about the love it takes to deal with a problem, and not walk away. The comments made the post bigger and better by highlighting how much courage it takes not only to give criticism, but also to receive it. And more often, I was told about the pain people received from criticism.
There are 2 parts here. The “Giver” and the “Taker.” Giving criticism can be more about the person giving it than anything to do with the person receiving it. It is in reality often an attempt by Giver to connect. And when it doesn’t feel that way by Taker, it becomes disconnecting.
2 parts, remember? Which ever side we are on, we have a choice. We have a choice to connect. Knowing something of the intention of Giver to connect must help that choice some, even when it doesn’t feel like what they are saying has anything good in it.
The real part of us is sacred. Any contact to our simple selves is a privilege. It is a privilege to both parties – Giver and Taker. Both parties can be blessed and then in that exchange, Giver becomes Taker.
So think about what you want to say to someone you love and give. Now, think about what you are hearing. Take it. And connect.
Question: Do you find yourself on one side or another? How do you connect? Please tell me your story.