“I feel things I had no capacity to feel before! I can’t believe how much better life is for me.” She was 2 months into medication therapy and she felt like she was back to whom she wanted to be. Who she thought she really was.
Before medications, she was “making it.” Although she was irritable, easily activated by simple triggers, edgy, she was mostly not acting on it. Making it to the end of the day every day was a victory. Now she realized that if someone told her the difference before treatment began, she would have never believed them. She hadn’t perceived how rough things were for her. Now that she knew, she felt joy and sadness.
Getting well is never all good. There is the daily reminder that you need help. Every time you take a pill, you have to argue down all the reasons not to. Sometimes that argument doesn’t last long. Sometimes you spend more time than any one looking at you would guess.
Some of us are entirely on our own. Hiding our pills so we don’t have to hear it. When something goes wrong, the pills are to blame. It reminds me of menarche and listening to the boys saying empathic things like, “She must be on the rag!” Things said about us when we behave or feel in a way others don’t think we should, can be just as humiliating.
Is there anything that draws more public opinion than behavior? Being your own advocate may be easier said than done. However, difficult as it is, it has to be done. It starts with “me.” If I don’t fight for my own self, choose for my own self, …well, it results in so many things.
What is surprising is how things look so different once we do take action. Sticks and stones make more sense. We have the confidence that inevitably comes when we gave our best towards an honorable worthy goal – a healthy self.
Self Care Tip #33 – Accept help. Be a friend to yourself.
Question: What do you think? Agree or disagree?